it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
