What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
