I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
