i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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