Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i've created a new STD.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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