he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
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Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
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My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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