She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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