bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
