apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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