it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
