I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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