he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
