Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
