So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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