yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
