actually, I'm a sock model
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
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