Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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