somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
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he laminated a picture of his dick.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
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I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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