Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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