Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
