I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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