Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine