Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.