I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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