Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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