I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
