I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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