just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
