alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
