There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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