we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
