hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
