I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
