That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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