and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
