Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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