I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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