We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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