I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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