We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Randomize
