let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I have aggressive nipples.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
