Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize