We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
