Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
