wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
