Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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