I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
