i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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