walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
