I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
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Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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