ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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