I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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