Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
