I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
