Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
