Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
