Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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