It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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