I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
it glows. i had to have it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
