So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
