She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
