i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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